I ran into a young female professional I knew at a women’s event hosted here in Silicon Valley not long ago. She’s the enthusiastic type and was eagerly participating in the program. OK, nothing particularly noteworthy here; it happens all the time.
Well, actually something about the encounter was quite noteworthy. You see, this woman was the subject of a previous posting called “Time Warp.” Time Warp tells the story about a young, well-educated, 20-something-year-old keen to make her mark in the business world. She had remarked at a casual lunch we enjoyed that she saw absolutely no need for a women’s initiative (WIN) and had no interest in participating in WIN-sponsored events. She just didn’t get it. The playing field was level; she had never seen (never mind experienced) any inequities in the business community; and was quite sure that her work alone would determine her professional success.
So why, pray tell, would she be participating—and so actively so—in a women’s networking event a mere year later? I just had to ask!
Well, it turns out that her boss, counselor and mentor (all the same person) had left the company during the year, and for her it was an epiphany. She had not realized how he had championed, even promoted and protected, her during the early days of her career. After he’d moved on and in the months that followed she began to see things that she hadn’t seen before: the men in her “class” were noticeably, disproportionately moving up in the ranks, and the women, she noticed, were somehow disappearing. She was finding it more difficult to get visibility and to be considered for other opportunities. She, well, felt alone.
In the previous posting, I wondered what she’d say 10 years from now. Well, it turned out this question was answered—and nine years early.
How about you? What was your epiphany?
Cathy
By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte & Touche USA LLP
Thursday, Feb. 15, 2007 3:10 p.m. EST
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Christianne in New York wrote:
My personal epiphany was early in my career. In a nutshell, I was "pushed" out of my job after indicating little interest in my boss’ advances. Something that could never have been outed in the boys club that I worked in at the time, despite consulting with attorneys. Only within the last year did I find out this individual had achieved high levels in his career, but recently encountered some problems - namely that he lost his job to sexual harassment. Validating? Sure. But I’d overcome this hurdle years ago. One thing I remain attuned to, however, is observing how different generations of women engage women's issues. I noticed from my own discussions with friends and acquaintances starting out in their careers that they believe there is no problem until they encounter one personally. I guess we can thank the women’s movement for making so much progress, though there is still more to be made. Part of the lack of relevance starts with the way feminism and the women's movement were framed by popular culture and the media (angry, polarizing, strident, lesbian, as if that was a bad thing.) History lingers. Having worked on a number of women oriented brands, through my research I came to understand how the nature of the relationship has evolved. The early days were issue-oriented. After all, there was a big problem to be solved. Today, people seem to be more opportunity oriented. That is not to say issues don’t exist. Inevitably, progress is made, the culture evolves, and so people’s relationship with an issue evolves, too. Being opportunity oriented is also highly correlated to key characteristics of professional success: being positive, proactive, affirming. I had the good fortune of being surrounded by really interesting women that gave me incredible perspective. From clients to my best friend's mum, who was one of the many women on the ground in the feminist movement. She always jolted me with perspectives I found alienating, even offensive, at first. Funny enough, I would often come to understand their genesis. It was a fascinating education. And I wouldn’t give those conversations up for the world. The common ground is there. The hurdle, as personally experienced, is finding a relevant point of connection.
Annette in Pittsford wrote:
Excellent Blog that always needs to be remembered. If you think Corporate America has the handle on this, let me inform you. The entertainment business has that bet by miles. I have been in Corporate America, and still remain there, but am also now in the Entertainment Business.
I have experienced the same "beginners," who have no idea about discrimination. Funny, you catch them two years from the initial conversation, they got the T-Shirt.
Anna in Stamford
This is a very interesting (and contentious topic. As the Stamford office WIN lead for Consulting, I'm keenly interested in hearing how our male colleagues feel on this one. Perhaps it's a good time for an honest debate...women to argue the male perspective; men to argue the female perspective?
Laura in Washington D.C. wrote:
This is a perfect example of not noticing the wind when it is at your back! I'd used that analogy during the "Men and Women as Colleagues" meetings (yes, I've been here that long) to explain why although men didn't feel they were being "helped" in particular, that women could still feel a difference in the environment. Or, to use a sports analogy: the playing field may be level, but there's a reason that football teams switch ends of the field.
Anonymous wrote:
I can absolutely identify with your professional colleague. I was lucky early in my career to have a series of male mentors who were staples in the 'old boys club' as we came to know it. They supported me, advocated for me and helped me keep my career firmly on an upwards track. I didn't realize how much influence they had until one day they were gone. By that time I thought I had fairly well entrenched myself in the male network, and would surely have support from the other men. But then I was passed over for an opportunity that was openly discussed in the company as being mine; I was even congratulated on it by C level executives. I was passed over, by a professional, but less qualified male, with strong ties to the old boys network. Sour grapes you might say, and perhaps so; but it certainly was a wake up call for me. A wake up call to not take my network support for granted, even though they might be friendly enough, and to always seek out and retain a mentor - one in the middle of the power group. We often seek out female mentors, role models with whom we can easily relate, when the best mentors may be those who, while they might not understand us as well as we would like, do understand what we don't - how the male networks operate, how to navigate and build relationships in their world; and how to succeed in a man's business world without having to change the world!
Janine in Miami wrote:
I know women have come a long way in the workforce but we all know that we still have a ways to go. This is obvious when women like Condoleeza Rice and Nancy Pelosi make big news as a result of achieving a high-powered position. When it isn't big news, then we'll know we've made it. My epiphany is that it occurred to me that there was a time when there weren't women mentors. That means it is the men who have helped us progress. It brought to mind a number of men in my 19-year career that have been essential in helping me advance my career. Is it possible that any woman has built her career completely without the help of our male counterparts?
Marlena in Phoenix wrote:
To add a bit of perspective, I myself am a twenty-something who chose not to actively participate in WIN and such sponsored events. It was not as a result of not acknowledging a need but rather not wanting to segregate myself from the pack. Being a multi-racial female with racial segregating groups continually recruiting, another "such" group did not appeal to me. I have sought to distinguish myself and get ahead not on my physical characteristics but on my achievements and my merits. That said and in response to 'Time Warp Revisited', I do not believe I ever had an epiphany as strong as the young woman you mention. Rather, I and my female peers have felt at times that to get noticed and to achieve some sort of success we have to soar above and beyond, not only in school but also in the workplace. Not that any of us settle for mediocre but there is a feeling of mediocrity being acceptable for the boys club and being rewarded and the same not holding true for the girls. I often question if this is something created by our own insecurity and misperceptions or is it because an issue truly exists?
Susan in New York wrote:
This one is perfectly on point - just great!
Colette in New York wrote:
Cathy, I couldn't agree more about the importance of developing an internal network. It was one of the lessons I learned a bit late in my career (always good at building external networks), and that I strongly advise in my coaching and training. You want to create a team of advisors and advocates who can provide an objective opinion on your abilities and career experiences. Make your team as diverse as possible (e.g., cross-functional, cross-industry, and cross-levels) so that your core team can help you meet the people you don't know but should.
Your site is great -- just blogged about it on my career development site.
Cheers, Colette
Anittah in Brooklyn wrote:
My epiphany was noticing how women inadvertently "shamed" their colleagues by simply pointing out errors/lapses in judgment in a public forum. Men don't do this; it violates their innate guy code, I suppose. Once I noticed myself doing this too, I began to wonder -- what else are we (fellow women) doing to undermine our own progress without realizing it?
